When we hurt those we love!!!

September 24, 2009

Bill Vaughn once said, "A child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as he does out of finding a small green worm".

The statement itself is filled with innocence and purity. They say, "Child is the father of the man and the future of tomorrow". But with the growing exploitation and the way we are depriving him of his basic rights, the future seems dark and grim. Warmth happens to be a basic necessity, but it seems difficult to differentiate between love and lust. 

On one hand where a touch makes us feel loved and cared, it can also give us a feeling of rebelliousness and hurt. Depends ...when, where, from whom, and how we are touched. For a child it is not only difficult to say if the touch is safe or unsafe but they are too alone to complain about it. And those who can differentiate are too afraid to protest.
This young girl kept from sight
crying into the middle of the night
she fears that others will sense the shame
but was this girl really to blame?

This little girl who was full of belief
could not from him seem to find relief
she feels so dirty with her clothes which are tore
when she is being flung on the bedroom floor

this broken child lost her innocence at a very young age
through a trusted man's deliberate drunken rage
her little broken heart was full of pain
through the rest of her life it would stain

people would see the bruises that lay upon her face
she wanted and longed for her special place
while he was looking around
this little girl couldn't make a sound
she couldn't have her own bed

he would be there touching her instead
taking her clothes off he would touch
this haunted her little heart so much
she just wanted him to understand

but instead she got the back of his hand
night after night she endured this pain
never to be happy ever again!!!

In the recent survey it is stated that around 53% children in India are the victim of child abuse. Unsafe touching starts from the very first age and unluckily most abusers are known to the victims. As I write this, one little girl might be crying out in pain, one little boy is begging not to be touched anymore. 

Many children live through everyday being abused sexually, physically, and emotionally. “More than two million cases of neglect and physical abuse are reported annually. The only way to prevent child abuse is to spread awareness. Many NGOs are working towards this cause and I hope with help of sex education in schools children will be able to differentiate and understand if they are being loved or betrayed!!!

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74 Comments: to “ When we hurt those we love!!!

  • Vishnu
    September 26, 2009 at 1:02 AM  

    a questioning post on a very serious issue.. the poem is very touching..

  • Suga
    September 26, 2009 at 1:06 AM  

    @ Vishnu : thanks so much for the read ... yeah the poem is beautiful ... the girl committed suicide few daz back and it was her last poem !!!

  • Anonymous
    September 26, 2009 at 2:42 AM  

    I really don't have any words to say on this issue...I was infact much better before I came to know that there are Fathers who could such things.......
    the poem somehow reminds me of Jenny of Forrest Gump....

  • Pooja Mahimkar
    September 26, 2009 at 3:00 AM  

    wonderful poem and this post really touches the heart... and i also agree that sex education in school will really make a diffrence.
    good work and a really really very good post.

  • Priyanka Agrawalla
    September 26, 2009 at 4:15 AM  

    Ya.. I've read abt these things. Ans recently saw a documentary. Felt bad tht these things happen too.. And tht too by a father, makes matter worse!!!

    Awareness... ya thts the key point. How can people be so cruel to destroy a child n its innocence??

    Remarkable post.

  • BK Chowla
    September 26, 2009 at 4:52 AM  

    It is a fact that such incidents take place and that too with the closest relatives,which is very unfortunate.I wish,I could do something for the awareness programme.

  • VJ Sophie
    September 26, 2009 at 6:03 AM  

    And the thing is molesters do not wear an ugly mask. They wear a shield of trust.

  • Nitin
    September 26, 2009 at 6:22 AM  

    hmmm...never read a serious post on ur blog... nice for a change ... Awareness in our world is as important as Education....sometimes, they sound the same

  • Suga
    September 26, 2009 at 6:28 AM  

    @ RSV : Oh yes the poem reminds us of Jenny :) ... Thanks so much for the read :)

    @ Pooja M : Thank you :)

  • Suga
    September 26, 2009 at 6:30 AM  

    @ Priyanka: Thank you so much :)

    @ Mr. Chowla : u can help children by spreadin a word abt it :) ... thanks so much for the read :)

  • Suga
    September 26, 2009 at 6:31 AM  

    @ VJ : Very true!!! cudnt agree more ...

    @ Nitin : arey this is my % serious post .... I guess u missed the previous ones !!!

  • Anu...:)
    September 26, 2009 at 6:33 AM  

    Very thought-provoking post..and the poem just pierced the touching!

    Its sad...its really sad.Most people don't understand the gravity of the situation,not understand the lifelong guilt and torture such incidents leave behind in the minds of the little victims.Most think child abuse must be happening somewhere else,not in their homes..who knows?the quiet and aloof child next door maybe one victim too,reaching out for security,getting only an an indifference in return.

    Nice post.:)

  • An Ordinary Gal
    September 26, 2009 at 6:34 AM  

    nice meaning full post, loved the poem :)

  • Mustaf
    September 26, 2009 at 6:34 AM  

    There is no solution to this other than educating the children from their childhood, though it is uncomfortable teaching them about these henious acts, specially when the kid as young as may be 7-8yrs. And don't know why is this such a serious problem in India? Are Indian men pervert? Are there stricter laws in other countries? And many a times, parents of the kid in spite of fully being aware, do no open up, if the person involved is an influenced one, if he is a close relative!!Awareness should be spread as well as all sort of supports should be given to these parents in their fight against this evil!!

  • Anonymous
    September 26, 2009 at 10:45 AM  

    What a sad poem. It's tragic when children reach out and no one's there to help them.

    Love your blog, following

  • Param!
    September 26, 2009 at 10:59 AM  

    Hey suga..
    great thought ... for sure lack of awareness is root cause tht li'l minds are not able to differentiate...
    long time since i last blogged seemz a gud cause start.. tied-up chk yr othr post soon.. t/c

  • Sans
    September 26, 2009 at 11:12 AM  

    Very good job Sugandha. feeling proud of u for spreading a word on child abusement.
    the poem is really touching..there are several other girls who suffer and who dont know to whm they can share their pain...omg.
    pathetic. pch pch!!
    There can be a solution. we can actually prevent making it 'compulsory marshall arts' for children. the government of India and ministry of education has made it compulsory for education by sarva siksha abhiyan..popularly known as SSA. Govt shd take an initiative and understand the gravity of the situation and its consequences and implement this. so that every child can atleast try to defend by him/herself at any difficult situation.
    with your permission i'd like to tag this post of urs on my blog....can i??

  • ladytruth
    September 26, 2009 at 3:21 PM  

    I had a really good childhood and reading about children who weren't or aren't so fortunate breaks my heart. We've had 2 very touching books in Afrikaans recently that addressed this subject and I was shocked about the horrible truth that lies behind a closed door. You're absolutely right about awareness; I just wish those unfortunate children didn't have to go through such an ordeal just because there weren't any programmes about this issue back in the day.

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:28 AM  

    @ Anu : very well said ... I completely agree :)

    @ ordinary : Thanks so much for the read :)

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:30 AM  

    @ Mustaf : Yeah ... education is teh best thng to du unno wen we are so young ... our parents n teachers teach us abt thngs ... bt teh prob. here is parents is involve in teh crime n ofcrse child will never complain abt parents to neother person !!!

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:31 AM  

    @ Alice : Hey thanks so much ... and a very warm welcum to my blog ... take care :)

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:33 AM  

    @ Param : hey hie ... welcum back Param ... waiting to read a new n post frm ur side too...write soon .. take care :)

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:36 AM  

    @ Sans : very well said ... n thanks so much for teh additional info ... m so glad to hear tht ... wow ... thts one interesting step ...
    nd it feels gr8 tht u wana put the post on ur blog ... may be u can put it as guest post if ya like .... du leme kno ... take care :)

    P.S. - n m so glad to get a comment on ths post frm ur side ... the way u understand kids ... no bdy else can !!!!

  • Suga
    September 27, 2009 at 12:40 AM  

    @ Lady : Hey thts nice .. I have seen few documentaries ... yes the pain is unbelievable .... hope children wud be more aware n can collect the strength to complain abt it !!!

  • roshwrites
    September 27, 2009 at 1:38 AM  

    So sad... but you really portrayed it well...

  • Singh Amit
    September 27, 2009 at 2:40 AM  

    it's a very scornful and pathetic side of society.... Most of these cases are so veiled that we do n't realize that in some corner of society, it is happening.... I feel awareness among people of such incidents; proper counselling of victims; Sex education can play a vital role.
    The mind of child is so delicate that once it is distorted by such filthy incidents...It destroyed their whole life.... :(

  • Saad Shaikh
    September 27, 2009 at 8:57 AM  

    Suga.. I really appreciate the fact that you've chosen to write this up in your blog.. it sure is a matter of great concern..

    it's time we have done something on a greater scale to make people aware of this and stop this heinous acts of disgust.. something must be done.. whenever a march against this is led.. I'll be on the forefront..

    about the poem, it touches and tears your heart apart.. I wonder what the child must be going through.. fortunate enough to not have experienced anything of this sort..

    kudos to you.. the topic is well-written..

  • Srivatsan
    September 27, 2009 at 10:28 PM  

    Reminds me of 'sin city'!:(

    Bringing all these news to the outside world is hard...when the abuser is relative..its too hard! I recently read in deccan chronicle about a woman who had revealed that her dad (a rock band singer it seems) had relationship/abused with her since she was 19.What the ??:O

  • HaRy!!
    September 28, 2009 at 2:51 AM  

    sick!! this is how i feel!! God save these poor children:( ... and thanks to yu...blogs like these will really help awareness for sure.. There is a paticular movie in Tamil "Kadhal Kondein" , it has some scenes which portray this stupidity!.. hmm nice write,....and hey not seen yu around ma blog for some time? busy bee?

  • Shankar
    September 28, 2009 at 3:47 AM  

    hey.. A very nice post suga... really a good one.... Such things are really bad....

  • Satyu
    September 28, 2009 at 5:56 AM  

    A very beautiful post.
    The poem is touching..very touching.
    I read abt it an year ago in a newspaper. I was shocked and numb for a moment that these things really happen.

    And Im really happy tht you brought this issue in your blog.
    I hope the awareness spreads as soon as possible and even grownups should understand that its their duty to protect their children not harm them and taken away the their hope to live and courage to face this world.

    Keep Smiling

  • A learner
    September 28, 2009 at 10:51 PM  


  • pramila
    September 29, 2009 at 6:18 PM  

    This post deals with a very sensitive issue.
    And that is the reason the entire thing is so sad.. cant comment on the poem coz i didn't had the courage to read the poem :(

    P.S. The first time i learned most of the molesters are people that you know .. it scared the shit out of me. And unfortunately many children do not even understand what the person is doing is harmful to them so it eventually becomes even more difficult for them to raise a voice against those sick people.
    And the most important thing is for the parents is to be protective about their children and understand them well coz for a fact i know children sometime show their hatred for such abusers even if they are their own family members and seriously parents should NOT ignores those signs rather try to help their child talk about it in person.
    I just hope those people get some brain and come back to their senses and if not awareness is the best policy.

  • swats....
    September 30, 2009 at 4:37 AM  

    am visiting your blog for the first time and i must say its quite thought provoking! well written and said!

  • Roshmi Sinha
    October 1, 2009 at 3:20 AM  

    Very well written, indeed...

    Unfortunately, society does not let a peep out at crimes like this. There seems to be a 'conspiracy of silence'...

    Contrast this with the hue and cry raised 'coz of girls wearing jeans... !!!

    There was this girl in univ... where I was studying. She came from a small town... kinda village.

    Apparantly there were about half a dozen cases in her village where the father had 'married' his own daughter... and had kids too. When each of these cases came to light... a 'panchayat' was called. The person(s) 'responsible' would appear before it and ask the same question: "If I have a farm/garden where I have planted fruit trees. Once the fruit(s) are ripe... should I have the 'right' over those fruit(s)... or my neighbours and/or strangers?"

    Just imagine... ??? Needless to say... the 'panchayat' would rule in favour of these people. Matter finished.

    An event described in the "Mahabharata"..."Draupadi's vastraharan"... is an event... perhaps. It is also an example or even a metaphor. On the "decadence" of society, on the norms of culture and the decline of "dharma". "Dharma" is not "religion" as we understand today. It is "rightousness".
    If people deviate from "dharma"... what eventually happens... what their failing to uphold or do/perform their "dharma" leads to... is shown very well through this one event/metaphor.

    As Lord Krishna too mentions... in the "Bhagavad Gita". A society which stood by silently and simply watched, did not react nor protested... on such a shameful event... the "vastrahaaran" of Draupadi... on the "apamaan" of the Queen of Hastinapur, the daughter of King Drupad, the wife of the Pandavas... an extraordinary woman, a major and important personality in her own right. What will such a society do when ordinary people... the weak and the defenceless, including ordinary women are subjected to ill treatment, injustice and torture.

    It will shatter a society and give rise to all kinds of ills.

    Therefore, Lord Krishna advises Arjun and all of us... to do our "duty"... to uphold "dharma"... without thinking or worrying about the "result", "consequences" or the "aftermath".... failing which we are doomed forever. He implores and advises us to fight the forces which are evil and are anti-social. We should not blame "external" factors for the failure or the decadence of society and/or law and order... it happens due to our actions... only.

    Unfortunately... his words are being echoed in the society today. No wonder we are in the thick of 'Kali Yug'...

  • Guria
    October 1, 2009 at 9:21 AM  

    Hey, you have a tag or two over at MM, check 'em out, and do them if you want. :)

  • Sans
    October 1, 2009 at 10:29 AM  

    Hey thanks. tagged! you can check. :)
    have a nice time.

  • Kaka
    October 1, 2009 at 8:04 PM  

    child abuse is something which is rapidly increasing....i see almost one such case in the news daily.....the worst thing how can even fathers and realtives think of doing this to them....the very people they trust!!!!sick people and there should be some laws which fast-track such cases and the punishment should be grave enough so that noone will attempt to do again....this brings up the very topic of capital punishment!!!!!the poem was very touching......

  • Americanising Desi
    October 2, 2009 at 5:07 PM  

    i really dont understand the works of society! it freaks me, pains me, aches me and yet i do nothin to make it justify what it does...
    very thought provoking and factual post girl!

  • Harini
    October 3, 2009 at 12:16 PM  

    The poem is really touching. The problem is that a child at 1st doesnt understand the difference between the two touches. If the child is very young he or she is very innocent to even know what the other guy might be doing to them. Thats the reason I child should be told the difference.

    Secondly, a child will be scared to speak up. There was a case where the child told her mum and her mum chose to trust the dad and the child had no where to go. I think a child should be given more rights so that he or she can protect herself. And sometimes moral values and feeling of other will shut the mouths. Its just such a tricky thing. the only solution I see is child should be made strong enough to speak up :).

  • lostworld
    October 5, 2009 at 9:19 PM  

    My first-time to your page..
    Find your blog interesting..
    Nice post. V touching & sad :(

  • ladytruth
    October 7, 2009 at 10:09 AM  

    I have something for you over at my blog :)

  • Bad Ass Thambi
    October 8, 2009 at 12:11 PM  

    nice nice.. real touchy....

    @other blogs of the author
    first visit n your blog yours posts are hyper cool..

  • Sorcerer
    October 9, 2009 at 1:12 AM  

    well said and touching

  • mAhEsH KaLaAL
    October 9, 2009 at 2:46 PM  

    Initially i was thinking to comment on this. I have so much anguish that I would like to vent it on my blog in my words.

    I hope you will not have any problem if i share this poem.

    Thanks a lot buddy :)

  • Jaky Astik
    October 9, 2009 at 8:17 PM  

    Interesting. I think it's time we stopped it. Some revolution or something maybe is what we can power up.

    Though I don't think we can change our elders, but of course our future generations.

  • Roshmi Sinha
    October 10, 2009 at 6:00 AM  

    Over 2 weeks... and still no new posts... ?????????

  • mAhEsH KaLaAL
    October 10, 2009 at 8:33 AM  

    Hi suga,

    I commented on this topic by informing you that i like to write my opinions on the same topic in my words as a response to this poem...
    Did u get it??

  • Whysoserioustoday
    October 10, 2009 at 2:11 PM  

    @ Roshmi : too much wrk honey ... n oso Diwali shoppin n all kinda busy... I ahve sme tags tht i m supposed to du ...shall write a new tag post soon...

  • Whysoserioustoday
    October 10, 2009 at 2:13 PM  

    @ Mahesh : hey yeah I got your msg ... I wud love to read ur views on teh topic ... but I request u to not use the same poem as it is written by one of my very close students ... I hope u understand :)

  • Anonymous
    October 13, 2009 at 6:12 AM  

    good post! x

  • Anonymous
    October 13, 2009 at 2:24 PM  

    do read my take on this topic...

  • Whysoserioustoday
    October 14, 2009 at 10:20 AM  

    @ RSV : shall read it soon buddy ... jus kinda busy these daz coz of festive season n work ... i have missed ur previous articles too ... shall read all of them n comment ....
    u take care n keep blogging :)

  • Anonymous
    October 17, 2009 at 10:53 AM  

    With utmost satisfaction, i would like to inform you that this post of yours has been selected as a suiting piece to honor my newly installed wall of fame.
    So, I would like you to take out some of your precious time and gimme a small writeup introducing this post in about 40-50 words to mail
    I would also appreciate it if you could nominate some more posts(including yours) which can be pinned up on my wall.

    yours truly

  • Roshmi Sinha
    October 19, 2009 at 5:52 AM  

    Wish you a very happy, safe and prosperous Deepavali/Kali Puja... !!! May the festival of lights bring lots of happiness and colour into your life and a New Year blessed with prosperity!

    P.S. No new posts... still... ?????

  • Americanising Desi
    October 23, 2009 at 1:30 AM  

    a bold topic and hence i m escapin from a view on it!

  • pRiYaN...!
    October 24, 2009 at 6:18 PM  

    hey visit my blog. there is a surprise for u

  • Dan.
    October 26, 2009 at 9:08 AM  

    Hello mate, you have an award on my blog if you wish to collect, but if that’s not your thing, then that’s cool as well.

    Have a good one!

  • sharat
    October 26, 2009 at 10:10 PM  

    u need to be appreciated for bringing out a hidden truth. with rampant child abuse any effort to highlight is welcome....loved the blog and continue to visit it....k.I.U

  • Roshmi Sinha
    October 30, 2009 at 12:08 PM  

    No news posts... ??? Its been ages since the last one...

    btw I've tried my hand at micro-fiction. Do let me know what you think...

  • Eliane Jany Barbanti
    November 2, 2009 at 8:07 AM  

    Hi, nice blog I like it. Thanks for following my blog Fitness.
    Nice to meet you!!! Visiting with a kissed and Smile!!

  • Rohit Dassani
    November 10, 2009 at 7:51 AM  

    We seriously need to do something... these politicians are eating up our nation. And child rights should be taken very seriously as they are the future of the nation.

    Hey, I would like to tag you.

  • Leona
    November 14, 2009 at 1:33 AM  

    True. Child rights are something that have to be protected. Children around the world are suffering from abuse, and I think it's high time people started doing something about all this.

  • Jason
    November 15, 2009 at 11:31 AM  

    This is my first visit, but I'm very impressed with your blog. I have a blog myself that provides inspiration and guidance to millions of people around the world. I was wondering if we could do a link exchange to spread some traffic around. Let me know if this is cool.


  • sulagna chatterjee
    November 16, 2009 at 2:14 AM  

    sugababe those are some beautiful words coming our way:) you know what?? though i have loved reading this i look forward to your funny streak..when do i see that..and yes one more award for you on my blog :)

  • srikanth
    November 21, 2009 at 9:57 AM  

    True nice that u made ppl think onit :)

  • sm
    December 4, 2009 at 3:14 PM  

    nice poem to raise the problem

  • Subhayan "Wrahool" Mukerjee
    December 30, 2009 at 6:37 AM  

    hieeee ... after a looooong timw on ur blog :D

    an aprt post indeed ... nicely written

    BTW, i have my very own laptop now which i shall take to BITS this time ... and so will devote a lot of time to blogging again ... to start off, i've tagged you in my last post ... do respond!

  • Rohit Dassani
    January 5, 2010 at 2:27 AM  

    I know its very hard to find you these days....but i will like to say....
    that you have been awarded the 'Best follower Award', check my blog. Congratulations!!

  • kris
    February 14, 2010 at 9:44 AM  

    u have mentioned about sex education i dont think its posssible in india bcoz of the culture and tradition we follow.
    hii im krishna new to "blogging community" seeking for help.......

  • kris
    February 14, 2010 at 9:44 AM  

    u have mentioned about sex education i dont think its posssible in india bcoz of the culture and tradition we follow.
    hii im krishna new to "blogging community" seeking for help.......

  • Saad Shaikh
    February 20, 2010 at 9:07 PM  

    Try and find time to blog. :)

  • Arnav
    February 26, 2010 at 12:06 PM  

    True very true .. Its sad that the children around us have to face so much trauma.. and there entire life is a shade of grey ....

    Keep writing ..

    You have earned another follower :)

  • Zayida
    March 18, 2010 at 11:31 AM  

    Well written on an essential topic these days!
    Something really has to be done against child molestation..and children should be given some kind of awareness at school.

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