When we hurt those we love!!!
September 24, 2009
Bill Vaughn once said, "A child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as he does out of finding a small green worm".
The statement itself is filled with innocence and smile. They say, "Child is the father of the man and the future of tomorrow". But with the growing exploitation and the way we are depriving him of his basic rights, the future seems dark and grim. Warmth happens to be a basic necessity, but it seems difficult to differentiate between love and lust. On one hand where a touch makes us feel loved and cared, it can also gives a feeling of rebelliousness and hurt. Depends ...when, where, from whom, and how we are touched. For a child it is not only difficult to say if the touch is safe or unsafe but they are too alone to complain about it. And those who can differentiate are too afraid to protest.
The statement itself is filled with innocence and smile. They say, "Child is the father of the man and the future of tomorrow". But with the growing exploitation and the way we are depriving him of his basic rights, the future seems dark and grim. Warmth happens to be a basic necessity, but it seems difficult to differentiate between love and lust. On one hand where a touch makes us feel loved and cared, it can also gives a feeling of rebelliousness and hurt. Depends ...when, where, from whom, and how we are touched. For a child it is not only difficult to say if the touch is safe or unsafe but they are too alone to complain about it. And those who can differentiate are too afraid to protest.
This young girl kept from sightcrying into the middle of the night
she fears that others will sense the shame
but was this girl really to blame?
This little girl who was full of belief
could not from him seem to find relief
she feels so dirty with her clothes which are tore
when she is being flung on the bedroom floor
this broken child lost her innocence at a very young age
through a trusted man's deliberate drunken rage
her little broken heart was full of pain
through the rest of her life it would stain
people would see the bruises that lay upon her face
she wanted and longed for her special place
while he was looking around
this little girl couldn't make a sound
she couldn't have her own bed
he would be there touching her instead
taking her clothes off he would touch
this haunted her little heart so much
she just wanted him to understand
but instead she got the back of his hand
night after night she endured this pain
never to be happy ever again!!!
The above poem is written by a 12year old girl whose father molested her for around four years and she had no one to complain and protect her.she fears that others will sense the shame
but was this girl really to blame?
This little girl who was full of belief
could not from him seem to find relief
she feels so dirty with her clothes which are tore
when she is being flung on the bedroom floor
this broken child lost her innocence at a very young age
through a trusted man's deliberate drunken rage
her little broken heart was full of pain
through the rest of her life it would stain
people would see the bruises that lay upon her face
she wanted and longed for her special place
while he was looking around
this little girl couldn't make a sound
she couldn't have her own bed
he would be there touching her instead
taking her clothes off he would touch
this haunted her little heart so much
she just wanted him to understand
but instead she got the back of his hand
night after night she endured this pain
never to be happy ever again!!!
In the recent survey it is stated that around 53% children in India are the victim of child abuse. Unsafe touching starts from the very first age and unluckily most abusers are known to the victims. As I write this, one little girl might be crying out in pain, one little boy is begging not to be touched anymore. Many children live through everyday being abused sexually, physically, and emotionally. “More than two million cases of neglect and physical abuse are reported annually. The only way to prevent child abuse is to spread awareness. Many NGOs are working towards this cause and I hope with help of sex education in schools children will be able to differentiate and understand if they are being loved or betrayed!!!
(Image courtesy: Google search)
(Image courtesy: Google search)
September 26, 2009 1:02 AM
a questioning post on a very serious issue.. the poem is very touching..
September 26, 2009 1:06 AM
@ Vishnu : thanks so much for the read ... yeah the poem is beautiful ... the girl committed suicide few daz back and it was her last poem !!!
September 26, 2009 2:42 AM
I really don't have any words to say on this issue...I was infact much better before I came to know that there are Fathers who could such things.......
the poem somehow reminds me of Jenny of Forrest Gump....
September 26, 2009 3:00 AM
wonderful poem and this post really touches the heart... and i also agree that sex education in school will really make a diffrence.
good work and a really really very good post.
September 26, 2009 4:15 AM
Ya.. I've read abt these things. Ans recently saw a documentary. Felt bad tht these things happen too.. And tht too by a father, makes matter worse!!!
Awareness... ya thts the key point. How can people be so cruel to destroy a child n its innocence??
Remarkable post.
September 26, 2009 4:52 AM
It is a fact that such incidents take place and that too with the closest relatives,which is very unfortunate.I wish,I could do something for the awareness programme.
September 26, 2009 6:03 AM
And the thing is molesters do not wear an ugly mask. They wear a shield of trust.
September 26, 2009 6:22 AM
hmmm...never read a serious post on ur blog... nice for a change ... Awareness in our world is as important as Education....sometimes, they sound the same
September 26, 2009 6:28 AM
@ RSV : Oh yes the poem reminds us of Jenny :) ... Thanks so much for the read :)
@ Pooja M : Thank you :)
September 26, 2009 6:30 AM
@ Priyanka: Thank you so much :)
@ Mr. Chowla : u can help children by spreadin a word abt it :) ... thanks so much for the read :)
September 26, 2009 6:31 AM
@ VJ : Very true!!! cudnt agree more ...
@ Nitin : arey this is my % serious post .... I guess u missed the previous ones !!!
September 26, 2009 6:33 AM
Very thought-provoking post..and the poem just pierced the heart...so touching!
Its sad...its really sad.Most people don't understand the gravity of the situation,not understand the lifelong guilt and torture such incidents leave behind in the minds of the little victims.Most think child abuse must be happening somewhere else,not in their homes..who knows?the quiet and aloof child next door maybe one victim too,reaching out for security,getting only an an indifference in return.
Nice post.:)
September 26, 2009 6:34 AM
nice meaning full post, loved the poem :)
September 26, 2009 6:34 AM
There is no solution to this other than educating the children from their childhood, though it is uncomfortable teaching them about these henious acts, specially when the kid as young as may be 7-8yrs. And don't know why is this such a serious problem in India? Are Indian men pervert? Are there stricter laws in other countries? And many a times, parents of the kid in spite of fully being aware, do no open up, if the person involved is an influenced one, if he is a close relative!!Awareness should be spread as well as all sort of supports should be given to these parents in their fight against this evil!!
September 26, 2009 10:45 AM
What a sad poem. It's tragic when children reach out and no one's there to help them.
Love your blog, following
September 26, 2009 10:59 AM
Hey suga..
great thought ... for sure lack of awareness is root cause tht li'l minds are not able to differentiate...
long time since i last blogged seemz a gud cause start.. tied-up chk yr othr post soon.. t/c
September 26, 2009 11:12 AM
Very good job Sugandha. feeling proud of u for spreading a word on child abusement.
the poem is really touching..there are several other girls who suffer and who dont know to whm they can share their pain...omg.
pathetic. pch pch!!
There can be a solution. we can actually prevent this..by making it 'compulsory marshall arts' for children. the government of India and ministry of education has made it compulsory for education by sarva siksha abhiyan..popularly known as SSA. Govt shd take an initiative and understand the gravity of the situation and its consequences and implement this. so that every child can atleast try to defend by him/herself at any difficult situation.
with your permission i'd like to tag this post of urs on my blog....can i??
September 26, 2009 3:21 PM
I had a really good childhood and reading about children who weren't or aren't so fortunate breaks my heart. We've had 2 very touching books in Afrikaans recently that addressed this subject and I was shocked about the horrible truth that lies behind a closed door. You're absolutely right about awareness; I just wish those unfortunate children didn't have to go through such an ordeal just because there weren't any programmes about this issue back in the day.
September 27, 2009 12:28 AM
@ Anu : very well said ... I completely agree :)
@ ordinary : Thanks so much for the read :)
September 27, 2009 12:30 AM
@ Mustaf : Yeah ... education is teh best thng to du ...bt unno wen we are so young ... our parents n teachers teach us abt thngs ... bt teh prob. here is parents is involve in teh crime n ofcrse child will never complain abt parents to neother person !!!
September 27, 2009 12:31 AM
@ Alice : Hey thanks so much ... and a very warm welcum to my blog ... take care :)
September 27, 2009 12:33 AM
@ Param : hey hie ... welcum back Param ... waiting to read a new n post frm ur side too...write soon .. take care :)
September 27, 2009 12:36 AM
@ Sans : very well said ... n thanks so much for teh additional info ... m so glad to hear tht ... wow ... thts one interesting step ...
nd it feels gr8 tht u wana put the post on ur blog ... may be u can put it as guest post if ya like .... du leme kno ... take care :)
P.S. - n m so glad to get a comment on ths post frm ur side ... the way u understand kids ... no bdy else can !!!!
September 27, 2009 12:40 AM
@ Lady : Hey thts nice .. I have seen few documentaries ... yes the pain is unbelievable .... hope children wud be more aware n can collect the strength to complain abt it !!!
September 27, 2009 1:38 AM
So sad... but you really portrayed it well...
September 27, 2009 2:40 AM
it's a very scornful and pathetic side of society.... Most of these cases are so veiled that we do n't realize that in some corner of society, it is happening.... I feel awareness among people of such incidents; proper counselling of victims; Sex education can play a vital role.
The mind of child is so delicate that once it is distorted by such filthy incidents...It destroyed their whole life.... :(
September 27, 2009 8:57 AM
Suga.. I really appreciate the fact that you've chosen to write this up in your blog.. it sure is a matter of great concern..
it's time we have done something on a greater scale to make people aware of this and stop this heinous acts of disgust.. something must be done.. whenever a march against this is led.. I'll be on the forefront..
about the poem, it touches and tears your heart apart.. I wonder what the child must be going through.. fortunate enough to not have experienced anything of this sort..
kudos to you.. the topic is well-written..
September 27, 2009 10:28 PM
Reminds me of 'sin city'!:(
Bringing all these news to the outside world is hard...when the abuser is relative..its too hard! I recently read in deccan chronicle about a woman who had revealed that her dad (a rock band singer it seems) had relationship/abused with her since she was 19.What the ??:O
September 28, 2009 2:51 AM
sick!! this is how i feel!! God save these poor children:( ... and thanks to yu...blogs like these will really help awareness for sure.. There is a paticular movie in Tamil "Kadhal Kondein" , it has some scenes which portray this stupidity!.. hmm nice write,....and hey not seen yu around ma blog for some time? busy bee?
September 28, 2009 3:47 AM
hey.. A very nice post suga... really a good one.... Such things are really bad....
September 28, 2009 5:56 AM
A very beautiful post.
The poem is touching..very touching.
I read abt it an year ago in a newspaper. I was shocked and numb for a moment that these things really happen.
And Im really happy tht you brought this issue in your blog.
I hope the awareness spreads as soon as possible and even grownups should understand that its their duty to protect their children not harm them and taken away the their hope to live and courage to face this world.
Takecare
Keep Smiling
September 28, 2009 10:51 PM
touching
September 29, 2009 6:18 PM
This post deals with a very sensitive issue.
And that is the reason the entire thing is so sad.. cant comment on the poem coz i didn't had the courage to read the poem :(
P.S. The first time i learned most of the molesters are people that you know .. it scared the shit out of me. And unfortunately many children do not even understand what the person is doing is harmful to them so it eventually becomes even more difficult for them to raise a voice against those sick people.
And the most important thing is for the parents is to be protective about their children and understand them well coz for a fact i know children sometime show their hatred for such abusers even if they are their own family members and seriously parents should NOT ignores those signs rather try to help their child talk about it in person.
I just hope those people get some brain and come back to their senses and if not awareness is the best policy.
September 30, 2009 4:37 AM
am visiting your blog for the first time and i must say its quite thought provoking! well written and said!
October 1, 2009 3:20 AM
Very well written, indeed...
Unfortunately, society does not let a peep out at crimes like this. There seems to be a 'conspiracy of silence'...
Contrast this with the hue and cry raised 'coz of girls wearing jeans... !!!
There was this girl in univ... where I was studying. She came from a small town... kinda village.
Apparantly there were about half a dozen cases in her village where the father had 'married' his own daughter... and had kids too. When each of these cases came to light... a 'panchayat' was called. The person(s) 'responsible' would appear before it and ask the same question: "If I have a farm/garden where I have planted fruit trees. Once the fruit(s) are ripe... should I have the 'right' over those fruit(s)... or my neighbours and/or strangers?"
Just imagine... ??? Needless to say... the 'panchayat' would rule in favour of these people. Matter finished.
An event described in the "Mahabharata"..."Draupadi's vastraharan"... is an event... perhaps. It is also an example or even a metaphor. On the "decadence" of society, on the norms of culture and the decline of "dharma". "Dharma" is not "religion" as we understand today. It is "rightousness".
If people deviate from "dharma"... what eventually happens... what their failing to uphold or do/perform their "dharma" leads to... is shown very well through this one event/metaphor.
As Lord Krishna too mentions... in the "Bhagavad Gita". A society which stood by silently and simply watched, did not react nor protested... on such a shameful event... the "vastrahaaran" of Draupadi... on the "apamaan" of the Queen of Hastinapur, the daughter of King Drupad, the wife of the Pandavas... an extraordinary woman, a major and important personality in her own right. What will such a society do when ordinary people... the weak and the defenceless, including ordinary women are subjected to ill treatment, injustice and torture.
It will shatter a society and give rise to all kinds of ills.
Therefore, Lord Krishna advises Arjun and all of us... to do our "duty"... to uphold "dharma"... without thinking or worrying about the "result", "consequences" or the "aftermath".... failing which we are doomed forever. He implores and advises us to fight the forces which are evil and are anti-social. We should not blame "external" factors for the failure or the decadence of society and/or law and order... it happens due to our actions... only.
Unfortunately... his words are being echoed in the society today. No wonder we are in the thick of 'Kali Yug'...
October 1, 2009 9:21 AM
Hey, you have a tag or two over at MM, check 'em out, and do them if you want. :)
October 1, 2009 10:29 AM
Hey thanks. tagged! you can check. :)
have a nice time.
October 1, 2009 8:04 PM
child abuse is something which is rapidly increasing....i see almost one such case in the news daily.....the worst thing how can even fathers and realtives think of doing this to them....the very people they trust!!!!sick people and there should be some laws which fast-track such cases and the punishment should be grave enough so that noone will attempt to do again....this brings up the very topic of capital punishment!!!!!the poem was very touching......
October 2, 2009 5:07 PM
i really dont understand the works of society! it freaks me, pains me, aches me and yet i do nothin to make it justify what it does...
very thought provoking and factual post girl!
October 3, 2009 12:16 PM
The poem is really touching. The problem is that a child at 1st doesnt understand the difference between the two touches. If the child is very young he or she is very innocent to even know what the other guy might be doing to them. Thats the reason I child should be told the difference.
Secondly, a child will be scared to speak up. There was a case where the child told her mum and her mum chose to trust the dad and the child had no where to go. I think a child should be given more rights so that he or she can protect herself. And sometimes moral values and feeling of other will shut the mouths. Its just such a tricky thing. the only solution I see is child should be made strong enough to speak up :).
October 5, 2009 9:19 PM
My first-time to your page..
Find your blog interesting..
Nice post. V touching & sad :(
October 7, 2009 10:09 AM
I have something for you over at my blog :)
October 8, 2009 12:11 PM
nice nice.. real touchy....
@other blogs of the author
first visit n your blog yours posts are hyper cool..
October 9, 2009 1:12 AM
well said and touching
October 9, 2009 2:46 PM
Initially i was thinking to comment on this. I have so much anguish that I would like to vent it on my blog in my words.
I hope you will not have any problem if i share this poem.
Thanks a lot buddy :)
October 9, 2009 8:17 PM
Interesting. I think it's time we stopped it. Some revolution or something maybe is what we can power up.
Though I don't think we can change our elders, but of course our future generations.
October 10, 2009 6:00 AM
Over 2 weeks... and still no new posts... ?????????
October 10, 2009 8:33 AM
Hi suga,
I commented on this topic by informing you that i like to write my opinions on the same topic in my words as a response to this poem...
Did u get it??
October 10, 2009 2:11 PM
@ Roshmi : too much wrk honey ... n oso Diwali shoppin n all kinda busy... I ahve sme tags tht i m supposed to du ...shall write a new tag post soon...
October 10, 2009 2:13 PM
@ Mahesh : hey yeah I got your msg ... I wud love to read ur views on teh topic ... but I request u to not use the same poem as it is written by one of my very close students ... I hope u understand :)
October 13, 2009 6:12 AM
good post! x
October 13, 2009 2:24 PM
do read my take on this topic...
http://rahulsharmaspeaks.blogspot.com/2009/10/also-it-felt-good.html
October 14, 2009 10:20 AM
@ RSV : shall read it soon buddy ... jus kinda busy these daz coz of festive season n work ... i have missed ur previous articles too ... shall read all of them n comment ....
u take care n keep blogging :)
October 17, 2009 10:53 AM
With utmost satisfaction, i would like to inform you that this post of yours has been selected as a suiting piece to honor my newly installed wall of fame.
So, I would like you to take out some of your precious time and gimme a small writeup introducing this post in about 40-50 words to mail address:rahul938@gmail.com
I would also appreciate it if you could nominate some more posts(including yours) which can be pinned up on my wall.
yours truly
RSV
October 19, 2009 5:52 AM
Wish you a very happy, safe and prosperous Deepavali/Kali Puja... !!! May the festival of lights bring lots of happiness and colour into your life and a New Year blessed with prosperity!
P.S. No new posts... still... ?????
October 23, 2009 1:30 AM
a bold topic and hence i m escapin from a view on it!
October 24, 2009 6:18 PM
hey visit my blog. there is a surprise for u
www.gr8bluffmaster.blogspot.com
October 26, 2009 9:08 AM
Hello mate, you have an award on my blog if you wish to collect, but if that’s not your thing, then that’s cool as well.
Have a good one!
October 26, 2009 10:10 PM
u need to be appreciated for bringing out a hidden truth. with rampant child abuse any effort to highlight is welcome....loved the blog and continue to visit it....k.I.U
October 30, 2009 12:08 PM
No news posts... ??? Its been ages since the last one...
btw I've tried my hand at micro-fiction. Do let me know what you think...
November 2, 2009 8:07 AM
Hi, nice blog I like it. Thanks for following my blog Fitness.
Nice to meet you!!! Visiting with a kissed and Smile!!
Eliane
November 10, 2009 7:51 AM
We seriously need to do something... these politicians are eating up our nation. And child rights should be taken very seriously as they are the future of the nation.
Hey, I would like to tag you.
November 14, 2009 1:33 AM
True. Child rights are something that have to be protected. Children around the world are suffering from abuse, and I think it's high time people started doing something about all this.
November 15, 2009 11:31 AM
This is my first visit, but I'm very impressed with your blog. I have a blog myself that provides inspiration and guidance to millions of people around the world. I was wondering if we could do a link exchange to spread some traffic around. Let me know if this is cool.
Jason
TheWISDOMWALL.com
November 16, 2009 2:14 AM
sugababe those are some beautiful words coming our way:) you know what?? though i have loved reading this i look forward to your funny streak..when do i see that..and yes one more award for you on my blog :)
November 21, 2009 9:57 AM
True nice that u made ppl think onit :)
December 4, 2009 3:14 PM
nice poem to raise the problem